What was left was just a piece of my heart lying in the oblivion of my chest where my heart used to be..
Friday, February 1, 2013
Chronicles of Hairul, Love ends with Rejection.
Today on 31 January 2013, i was rejected severely by the one woman that i look upon and shower with affections, it was like a sudden shot to heart by .45 caliber gun. it was one fine afternoon, in a class full of inspiring computer students about to start their lesson on brainwashing machinery. As i reflect back during this class, i was wondering what could i do to become a better friend to her so i went to ask her yet little did i know the response i'll get would took everything that is positive in my heart out of me. As i heard her response to my query, i felt as if the world crashed around me. Mountains exploded, people die, chaos reigns in the depths of the plane known as my heart. With fire words of flames that spelled out "No. Get out of my life! Don't message me or talk to me!!", Sears to my heart as my brain tried to defend itself against this ruthless attack yet it was futile effort as i fell to this pin-pointed accuracy attack.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Chronicles Of Hairul Part 2(Love)
It has been a long while since our protagonist has appear yet full of emotions just he fears.
Love has taken over his heart full of loving, caring and all the wonderful emotions.
Today he message the girl in question yet a reply was not received.
Full of sadness he has.
Wondering what has taken her abash,
Thus concludes this wonderfully bad poem.
Love has taken over his heart full of loving, caring and all the wonderful emotions.
Today he message the girl in question yet a reply was not received.
Full of sadness he has.
Wondering what has taken her abash,
Thus concludes this wonderfully bad poem.
Love is such a beautiful thing
Love is such a wonderful thing.Yes i am currently in love. My one first true love..How do i know that its love? Well first thing first, i kept thinking of her no matter where i am or what i'm doing.Secondly her smiles brightens up my day and when she's sad, i'm sad, she's stressed i'm stressed..i keep thinking will my future be with her? yes i want my future to be with her. i want be there for her, i want be with her every second and every hour of the day with her. i want to know how's her day..i want to know if she's ok..i just want to be with her..this feeling of mine is outrageously bursting forth with uncontrollable excitement whenever i see her face..Whatever she does looks cute be it combing her hair, taking a nap..i want talk to her i want to know what's her favorite food, game, books anything! I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT HER AND GIVE HER MY AFFECTIONS!!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
ZOMBIFIED!
My eyes are literally have eyebags (=_=)....
(∪｡∪)｡｡｡zzz.........
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
What on earth am i doing?! I SHOULD BE AWAKE!! NOT ASLEEP!! arghhhh..(_ _)ヾ(‘ロ‘) hello? anyone in there? hahahahaha.......
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
A whole new world!
Finally! I CAN CARE LESS ABOUT THE WORLD! i finally let go of my habit to please others! Those who didn't appreciate while i was still at that so called "Pleasing Mode" YOU CAN SUCK YOUR OWN DICK (or vagina if you are a woman).
Foooh. Feels like a brand new day to me! hah no more emo mode! Happy happy! hahaha. But i'm still trying out this new dynamic mode of the blog. It seems cool but way advance in terms of editing the header background etc etc. Forgive me if it looks plain, i'll try to make it cooler in the next few days!
Now on to more pressing issues now that i'm free, Things to do,Let's update you guys or whoever reads this blog what i have been up to! First and Foremost, i am currently in Ngee Ann Polytechnic Year 2 in ECE division or Electronic and Computer Engineering division. My course is of course the titular division name which is ECE. Its one of the toughest course i have ever taken with math and electronic components to remember. Theories that are to be remembered all the way till the Final Year Project @_@. I'll try my best to remember them all! I am currently in several non-sport CCAs and only 1 sport cca which is sad! i been wanting to join sport cca for along. Oh speaking of which i quit dragonboat partially because its has been too much for me to handle it along with my studies so now i am currently self-training my body and afterwhich i will join back my karate dojo! muahahahahhaha! Secondly i want try out a couple of things like cooking dishes i have not done so, join a martial art tournament etc. This are the things i want to try out though!
Lastly i want to thank dear Jasmine Low Hui Min for your very old advice which was "Do not try to please everyone" i was a fool for not listening to you, i could have made my mental suffocation much easier -.-" hahaha!
Foooh. Feels like a brand new day to me! hah no more emo mode! Happy happy! hahaha. But i'm still trying out this new dynamic mode of the blog. It seems cool but way advance in terms of editing the header background etc etc. Forgive me if it looks plain, i'll try to make it cooler in the next few days!
Now on to more pressing issues now that i'm free, Things to do,Let's update you guys or whoever reads this blog what i have been up to! First and Foremost, i am currently in Ngee Ann Polytechnic Year 2 in ECE division or Electronic and Computer Engineering division. My course is of course the titular division name which is ECE. Its one of the toughest course i have ever taken with math and electronic components to remember. Theories that are to be remembered all the way till the Final Year Project @_@. I'll try my best to remember them all! I am currently in several non-sport CCAs and only 1 sport cca which is sad! i been wanting to join sport cca for along. Oh speaking of which i quit dragonboat partially because its has been too much for me to handle it along with my studies so now i am currently self-training my body and afterwhich i will join back my karate dojo! muahahahahhaha! Secondly i want try out a couple of things like cooking dishes i have not done so, join a martial art tournament etc. This are the things i want to try out though!
Lastly i want to thank dear Jasmine Low Hui Min for your very old advice which was "Do not try to please everyone" i was a fool for not listening to you, i could have made my mental suffocation much easier -.-" hahaha!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Reliability
I must admit this topic comes up a lot in my head, i'm always thinking "Am i reliable to people around me?" to the point that it affects my interaction with people.Sometimes i withdraw myself from social gatherings just so i could reflect upon myself and my rights to socialise with people. Apart from that i tend to think negatively about things around me surrounding my family and my friends.All this feelings could only be express in this blog which is my only source of expression in my world because no matter how much i try to express in my ways, people always gets the wrong message for example would be this evening at 7.15pm singapore time, i ask my mom why did she prepared dinner later, her reply was somehow different to my question, she told me that we never prepare food for guest during Hari Raya. Now this reply was very odd because what i ask was dinner at the present time and not about festivities food.So this comes off to me as unreliable because everyone of my questions has always been answered the same way by her so i tried to talk to her about it but as usual it ended the wrong way.
Another was that i asked her opinion on how to solve a problem that i currently have by giving her a table which i usually use for gaming i ended with a square shape table that consists a lower half that would not fit my 24 inches PC-TV. So being an ignorant one, i ask my mom on her opinion or in this case a solution that would help me with my problem but my mom reply was of one that really let me down and has lower down my self-esteem by a bit. You see i have this belief that a good child comes from good parents. In my case, i am apparently one of the worst child raised ever because based on past experiences and dealings with my mom who single-handedly raise me, i realise i have a very very unreliable mom who depends on others and her own spouse to do most of the thinking and despite all my positive thinking about her, her reply was one that disappoint me by far and has hurt my positive feelings i had about her. i told her that she's old and could not think anymore is saddening and her reply was that yes she's old and she could not think. i could only reply to her with sadness in my heart is "i thought i could rely on you, i thought you were old and wise but apparently you are not"
Her statement was one i could not let go of..Being old and making many mistakes, i thought she would have wise up over the years but i was greatly mistaken. Apparently being old does not equal to being wise. This was the glass-shattering truth that hits upon me, i was raised by an unreliable woman who my brains was born from, who i thought myself as pretty smart but sadly..it was just all wishful thinking on my part
You may think "Hey think positive! Now that you know you can change your whole outlook on life!" which is precisely what i am going to do! i am going to be a responsible person from now on! POSITIVE THINKING YO!
PS: but the matter with my mother is one i highly doubt that can be solve anymore. I give up.
Another was that i asked her opinion on how to solve a problem that i currently have by giving her a table which i usually use for gaming i ended with a square shape table that consists a lower half that would not fit my 24 inches PC-TV. So being an ignorant one, i ask my mom on her opinion or in this case a solution that would help me with my problem but my mom reply was of one that really let me down and has lower down my self-esteem by a bit. You see i have this belief that a good child comes from good parents. In my case, i am apparently one of the worst child raised ever because based on past experiences and dealings with my mom who single-handedly raise me, i realise i have a very very unreliable mom who depends on others and her own spouse to do most of the thinking and despite all my positive thinking about her, her reply was one that disappoint me by far and has hurt my positive feelings i had about her. i told her that she's old and could not think anymore is saddening and her reply was that yes she's old and she could not think. i could only reply to her with sadness in my heart is "i thought i could rely on you, i thought you were old and wise but apparently you are not"
Her statement was one i could not let go of..Being old and making many mistakes, i thought she would have wise up over the years but i was greatly mistaken. Apparently being old does not equal to being wise. This was the glass-shattering truth that hits upon me, i was raised by an unreliable woman who my brains was born from, who i thought myself as pretty smart but sadly..it was just all wishful thinking on my part
You may think "Hey think positive! Now that you know you can change your whole outlook on life!" which is precisely what i am going to do! i am going to be a responsible person from now on! POSITIVE THINKING YO!
PS: but the matter with my mother is one i highly doubt that can be solve anymore. I give up.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
April is a brand new week~
Good morning everyone, its 3.25am singapore time.i have yet to sleep despite school starting tomorrow. Why don't i sleep you ask? Good question but yet a question which i have answers to. The answer is simply that i am waiting for my S/W shirt to be done with the washing machine. Yeah im washing it late. i'll get back to you guys later after school...ah my bad i have to go to kee sun avenue today too so after that..Oh by the way Long story short; i met new friends, we bonded quite strongly. Currently studying for a diploma in electronic and computer engineering follow by a promotion to blue belt in karate (YESS ARR) oh and did i mention i am ngee ann poly year 1 now?
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